115 Key Principles for Success

Principle 63 - Don't use "you" or "your"

"You" or "your" can sound accusatory, especially in an email.

Recently my boss kept writing "your SQL"¹ when it wasn't my SQL, it was a coworker's.

The SQL had problems in it and I felt like I was being accused of making mistakes. He should have said "The SQL ..."

I often say the word "You" when I mean "I" or "People." I'm trying to break this habit but it's a work in progress.

"You should" ... and I mean "People should" or "Everyone should ..."
"You didn't send me the ...."

What if:

they did and you didn't see it.
they never got the email
someone else is working on it

If you say "You didn't reply to my email." you could be wrong.

Say "I didn't see the reply to my email."

I learned this lesson the hard way. I once sent this to someone and it turned out that they did reply a few days prior and I didn't see it. So saying "I didn't see ..." covers you and makes your point.

1. SQL is Structured Query Language, a tool to retrieve data from a database.